Joel: My toilet is broken.
Maggie: I know. You’ve told me.
Joel: Well, no, actually that’s not true. You see it never really worked. So um maybe not working is its natural working condition.
Maggie: What’s wrong with it?
Joel: What is wrong with it? I don’t know. How am I supposed to know what’s wrong with it?
Maggie: Common sense maybe? I mean you know you’re a doctor. You’re smart. You’re brilliant. Toilets are dumb.
Joel: Look. I think this is a very complicated problem. We’re not talking about your run-of-the-mill toilet malady. I promise you. There is something very very wrong with this toilet.
Maggie: You tried to fix it?
Joel: Yeah I listened to it with my stethoscope and I used a tongue depressor. Now I asked you three times! I cannot live without a toilet!
Joel Fleischman (Rob Morrow) and Maggie O’Connell (Janine Turner) (Northern Exposure 1x02 Brains, Know-How and Native Intelligence)